"Shall I have the usual wrap from Tesco, which, however nice, might start getting a bit tedious every other day for the past few weeks, (even though I get a different one each day, except the fishy ones of course) or shall I try something different?".
It was a rainy day and Tesco would involve crossing the road and a 5 minute walk, whereas KFC was right next to me, quite an easy choice really. So I went in looking at the board above the always enthusiastic employees (…ahem…) and noticed (and remembered) that they ALSO do a wrap type thingy. My mind was made up, I ordered the new Buffalo wrap, as part of the meal deal…costing about £4.50. This is a bit pricier than the £2.70 I usually spend in Tesco (which includes a 330 ml bottle of original Lucozade for 60 pence) but I thought, "What the hell, I'll treat myself".
I received my paid-for goods and sat down to the smallest available table I could see. By this I don't mean a tiny table for midgets and dwarfs, sitting next to them with knees next to my ears trying to fit into the minute seats, I do of course mean a table for 2, so I wouldn't look so pathetic on my own, taking up a table for 6 or 8. This wasn't easy as the staff were being especially slack, so I had to move the trays off the smaller table onto the larger one (I hate having to do that…).
I started with my wrap, as I've never had a KFC wrap before (to be honest I've rarely had a KFC whilst sober before). This was surprisingly tasty, although the greenery left a lot to be desired (being a bit mushy and obviously not fresh) the chicken made up for it and I happily munched away. I then started on my stupidly large Pepsi and fries, before finishing my wrap.
It was as I was nearing the end of my meal that I noticed a creepy crawly making its merry way along the floor just in front of the counter. At first I wasn't sure what it was, I have never (to my knowledge) seen a cockroach, as I don't live in filth (university excluded) and generally haven't been in many kitchens other than my own. But I doubted it was a beetle of the stag variety, and couldn't think of any other possible explanation. I was therefore quite fascinated to be in the presence of a cockroach, as I have heard all the "they will be the only thing alive after a nuclear war" stories. I watched intently as it made its way back and forth, not really doing anything, probably trying to avoid the unknowing shoes of the people queuing up for their lovely fresh salad and cockroach ridden chicken.
I was feeling quite nauseous but I had basically finished so I ploughed on and ate the last of my chips and drunk my watered down beverage. I often have my camera on me and this day was no exception. I was very keen to take a picture of this creature, partly because…well, why not?? And partly due to identification, just to prove to myself that it was indeed what I had assumed (finally I guess it's quite a nice bit of evidence for future reference). Anyway, this would look a bit weird, getting my camera out to take pictures in KFC, I have experienced many people (tourists usually) whipping out their camera in desperation before anyone starts their meals in a posh, fancy restaurant, or if the food looks especially "pretty" and well presented. However, this was KFC, not the Ritz, so I didn't want to seem like a total fruit-loop. But I always knew that if someone looked at me funny I could stand up and go "LOOK!!! A COCKROACH!!" and take all attention away from my weird photography habits.
As I said, I was very close to the counter (I never like to go too far away carrying food with me as I think there'd be nothing more embarrassing and annoying as tripping over some child's bag or uneven step - I've seen it happen, and after the obligatory laughter, there's always some sympathy) and could quite easily hide the camera under the table to get a good enough picture on zoom.
By now I had finished my food, luckily, as it then started to make its way closer towards me, to be honest I was quite grateful as my zoom was letting me down and taking quite blurry photographs. I got a couple of good pictures and put my camera away, whilst the cockroach made its way to the next table, I thought, that's enough for me, and got up, taking my tray with me to dispose of the rubbish. On my way out I went up to the cleaner and said "I think you've got a bit of a cockroach problem". Of course this, quite basic English went right over her head so I said it much slower…"C o c k r o a c h". She looked a bit shocked and I pointed in the general direction of where I saw it last, and left.
Here are the best shots I managed to take, not great but at least you can make out what it is! Under the circumstances I am quite proud of them if I do say so myself…
It spent a lot of time out "in the open" but no one else seemed to notice.
Running far too close to my table for comfort.
Zoomed in - for full dental and physical indentification.
Maybe this is the finger lickin' secret recipe??
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